Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dental Care

Dear Readers,

Welcome to my new blog, you get the esteemed honor of being the first of many (hopefully) to read my blog. As we celebrate the up and coming holiday of giving thanks (I mean American thanksgiving of course, Canadian Thanksgiving is NOT a respectable holiday), I am reminded of the importance of flossing. As those of you who respect your personal hygiene will know, flossing is the most tedious and useless activity in existence, or is it? This was my fervent opinion of flossing up until the day I realized that nine out of ten dentists recommend flossing; the tenth one was obviously asleep during the vote and I don't blame him, I would be too if I was a dentist who had to go to those boring meetings everyday, I am starting to drift off a little just thinking about it. As you can imagine this discovery considerably changed my opinion on this whole flossing thing, imagine it: you are just sitting on your couch, minding your own business, when suddenly a bright and flashy commercial jolts you back to reality and says: "DID YOU KNOW? Nine out of ten dentists recommend that you floss EVERYDAY! Using toothpaste is not enough to prevent cavities! (Whilst this is being said a gruesome image of a monster cavity destroying your poor little pearly white teeth, each one looking like a frightened bunny rabbit) ONLY COLGATE FLOSS CAN PREVENT CAVITIES! (It flashes back to the terrible cavity, but this time, a super hero made entirely of Colgate floss blasts him back with his ribbon of truth!) Spread the word, tell your friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, your local hippies: COLGATE FLOSS! (It flashes once more to the bunny rabbit-like teeth and each one gives the camera a toothy grin, each of THEIR teeth being made entirely of bunny rabbits too.)" End scene. Of course I immediately ran to my computer to ensure that everyone on Facebook was aware of the dire situation of their teeth, and to this day I have always flossed, once a day, everyday. Now at this point many of you may be under the impression that this has absolutely nothing to do with thanksgiving and that I have gone on a useless ranting tirade, but what you are not aware of is that I am incredibly skilled at the precise art of pulling completely obscure connections out of my buttocks. The connection is this: on Thanksgiving everyone eats lots and lots of food, it's almost like a right of passage and when you are gobbling down all the turkey you can chew, please remember your poor, innocent, bunny rabbit teeth.
The Music Scene: I would like to keep all my readers up to date on their music news, focusing on something significant in the world of music each week. This week there were a whole hoard of new albums released; most of them country, and we shan't go into my opinions on that unmentionable style of music, however in addition to this we had some more interesting albums come out. Snow Patrol released their CD: "Up To Now", an album of all the greatest songs as they so poignantly put it, up to now. This album is the one that every band releases at some point in their career, it basically states for all the world that they are officially OLD NEWS. This however is obviously not the case with Snow Patrol or I would not be telling you about them; they are the one thing that remains consistent in the English language: an exception to the rule. In other news, Bon Jovi just released their new album entitled "The Circle". I would have high hopes for this album, however after U2, a similar band, released their most recent album earlier this year and it turned out to be some of their worst stuff, I an somewhat doubting of how great of a comeback album Bon Jovi can make, although I am sure they will pull out some pretty good songs, just like U2 did. I always like to end on a positive note, so here it is: One republic also just released a new album called "Waking Up" and I have had the personal pleasure to listen to most of this album, which is SUPERB! I strongly recommend you at least check it out, if you don't want to shell out the ten dollars to buy it.
The Week in Film: This weekend, the latest movie in the twilight series comes out *projectile vomit*! The rest of the movies out are not really of interest other than The Men Who Stare at Goats, which looks like incredibly weird and funny at the same time, and since I don't want to end on a sour note, I can hardly talk about a twilight movie, so you will just have to wait until next week to get any decent film review, my apologies, but that's all folks, come back next week for another exciting entry in my blog!